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Didier Verna's scientific blog: Lisp, Emacs, LaTeX and random stuff.

Tag - humor

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Tuesday, November 12 2013

JBBE: Fake Academic Journal, the Next Generation

If you work in the academy, you are surely already getting a lot of spam from fake conferences asking for papers, PC participation etc. You also know that several years ago, a new form of harassment appeared: fake academic journals. There seems to be more and more of those everyday.

Sometimes, they're a bit hard to spot, especially if their focus seems to be in accordance with your activities. A hint is that you've never heard of them before, though. And sometimes, they're not hard to spot... at all. Meet the stupidest fake academic journal ever: the Journal of Bioinformatics and Biological Engineering.

Here's what I recieved yesterday:

We recently noticed your outstanding paper “Lisp: Report on the 5th workshop ELW at ECOOP 2008” and it well suits the focus and scope of Journal of Bioinformatics and Biological Engineering(JBBE). Considering that we share the same interests in Bioinformatics and Biological Engineering, we are now sending this message to you and sincerely invite you to share your new research or updated results in JBBE.

So, here are a couple of remarks:

  1. It's cool that you have noticed this paper "recently", although it's almost 6 years old now.
  2. The paper in question is actually not a paper. It's a conference proceedings for which I was programme chair, so basically, I wrote only the cover in it.
  3. Finally, there is nothing related to Biology in there. It's about a dynamic programming language.

Well done, guys. You almost got me! Ah, one more thing: I do have some interest in Computer Science and Biology, and I even wrote two papers in this area. Apparently, you failed to spot them, though...

Here's the end of the message:

Please kindly forward this email to your colleagues and students. We shall be greatly appreciated to hear from you at any time.

No, I won't forward this email to my colleagues. And no, you shan't be "greatly appreciated" to hear from me at any time!

Friday, October 23 2009

Spotlight

On Mac OS X, there are lots of very good reasons why syslogd could start eating 100% of your CPU. Plenty of discussions about this on the net out there.

Well, here's one more (very good) reason:

If all of a sudden, your Time Machine backup process appears to be slower than usual, and if the backup disk is not unmounted after a backup has finished, it could be that Spotlight is trying to index it. Stupid. Mine currently has an ETA of 55 hours :-)

Wednesday, April 1 2009

:o( Smilisp :o) A new and revolutionary dialect of Lisp

Today, I just released :o( Smilisp :o), a new dialect of Lisp featuring a new paradigm called "Emotional Programming". This is truely a revolution in the Lisp world...

The logo is not exactly like that, but my blogging software wants to put smileys everwhere...

Get it here and enjoy !

:-)

Tuesday, January 27 2009

Connaissez-vous le verbe "Setter" ?

L’incorporation de termes anglo-saxons dans le jargon technique français ne me gêne absolument pas. Mais il y a quand même des limites aux bornes des frontières. Dans une copie d’étudiant:

« Les variables ne sont pas dupliqué lors de la création d’un thread par consequent impossible de savoir quel thread a setter errno. »



Le lecteur érudit aura de lui-même reconnu le verbe « Setter », du
premier groupe, équivalent de l’anglais « meytrajoor ».

Monday, October 6 2008

Ucopia vs. Utopia

Il y a des captures d’écran qui parlent d’elles mêmes... :-)



Wednesday, March 19 2008

Domain Registry of America (for idiots)

I'm quoting this letter from DRoA that I've been receiving each year for some time now. It's called "Domain Name Expiration Notice", but would be more appropriately entitled "Domain Name Extortion Notice", you'll see why:

As a courtesy to domain name holders, we are sending you this notification of the domain name registration that is due to expire in the next few months [...]



This guys are soooo kind with us, domain name owners, that they even care to propose to switch the domain name to their company, for 26 euros a year, whereas I'm currently paying 5 euros for the same service. What else could we ask for !

I guess these guys were put to trial before. I remember the first letter I received from them; it was much more agressive and ambiguous; like "***WARNING*** if you don't renew your domain name RIGHT NOW by filling this form (theirs ;-)), your domain name will be lost". Now, instead of that, the warning says "This is not a bill"...

On the other hand, if they really send this spam by postal mail to every domain name owners in the world, no wonder they need to charge 26 euros a year !

Il y a un vers dans mon Orange

Le logiciel de messagerie d’Orange doit au moins être écrit en Visual Basic sous Windows Vista... voici mon dernier message:


"888" messagerie Orange: le / / à : ce correspondant
a appelé 0 fois sans laisser de message.
------------------------------------------------
De:

Moi je dis qu’il aurait quand même pu laisser son numéro, pour que je puisse le rappeler 0 fois. Il y a des gens qui ne sont pas polis.

Tuesday, October 23 2007

OOPSLA ! But no cigar...

So, you know, OOPSLA is a nice conference (it's nicer than ECOOP, by the way). Apart from one thing. Today I was deeply shocked when I discovered that lunch is not included in the conference fee (only people attending tutorials get to eat something).

This is the first time ever that I attend a conference, especially of that size, which doesn't provide sustentation for the attendees. A true scandal, if you ask me.

On the other hand, if the food is what I believe it is, seing the guys coming out of the lunch room, I think I'll consider myself lucky to have to get food by myself...

:-o

Wednesday, August 22 2007

WMSCI 2007

Again. The Nagib Callaos mafia hit me again :-) If you don't know WMSCI (the World Multi-Conference on Stupiditics, Catastrophics and Idiotics) yet, you should. That's the one and only conference where randomly generated papers are accepted.

So I just received this email again:

From: Reviewers Conference <wmsci2007.reviewers@iiis-info-cyber.org>
Subject: Thank you for your commitment to support us as a WMSCI 2007's
reviewer
Date: 16 Aug 2007 15:09:36 -0400

Dear Didier Verna:

On behalf of the Organizing Committee of The 11th World Multi-Conference on Systemics, Cybernetics and Informatics (WMSCI 2007), I would like to thank you very much for your commitment to support us as a WMSCI 2007's reviewer.

You are one of our few cases who did not receive from us a notice for their possible support in the conference reviewing process. The causes were the lack of submissions in your area and/or a bug we found in the program by means of which a random selection of the reviewers were made in the last conference. We are fixing this bug so it will not happen again in the future.

We would like to inform you that we maintained your name among the reviewers of the WMSCI 2008 conference. If for any reason you will not be able to support us, as a reviewer of the next conference, we will highly appreciate your information about it by means of a reply to this email.

We really appreciate your co-operation, and we hope we will have your support again for WMSCI 2008.


Best Regards

Prof. Nagib Callaos
WMSCI 2007 General Chair



So you know, the bug must be damn hard to fix because I'm receiving this email every year since at least 2003... But yeah, I'm gonna support them again, by not reporting this as spam, as I should.
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